Be ORIGINAL and Express Your ORIGINALITY!

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

[Mid-Term] Hana Elleonora - The Conqueror (short story)

By: Hana Elleonora

It was at the summer breeze fondling my eyes to keep opened. I can’t even blink at once, keep staring at the beauty scenery up here. With no words spoken. The shining sun, the clear sky, the blooming flowers, the tiring breathe, the wet sweat, oh, how could I not care with such peace.

As we rest for a while and drink, she lays her head on my shoulder and whispers softly to my ear “there is no mountain I can not conquer”. I tighten my shoe and jumped out,  “never stop then. I will always here to support you, Al”. “I do love you, Andre” she smiles. Then, we start to continue our trip to climb the mount Argopuro with the energetic stride.

We’ve been carrying our heavy carrier and walking by foot for 2 days and 8 hours. It’s exhausting and treacherous, yet pleasing at once.

Right between a small river and a big tree,  I command my team to split into two. Some build a tent there, and some others cook our meal. I help my friends to build the tent.

I think we’ve been starving and really need our mealtime, and of course an enough sleep to rest our tired limb.

Alya belongs to them whose responsible to cook our meal. She has to take some water at the river. As she carries the empty bottles and run through the river, she steps on a hole and falls down. She screams like worst “aaaaa something has bite my leg!!!”

My friends and I panic at the moment and I quickly take the first aid kit to help her. The blood scattered on her leg. As I clean it to take care of her, the scars shown. It still bleeds and her skin softly turned into blue. It scares me, really.

Terribly, the ‘something’ was a snake. Alya’s leg was biten by a snake. She stares at me with her browny beautiful eyes and start crying. My friends get her a rope and tie it tightly on Alya’s leg. She cries to me “Andre, it really hurts. I can’t stand this anymore”

“No, Alya! I can’t let you sick like this. Be patient baby, you’ll be okay, just tell me you’re alright”

She stops crying and slowly silent.

Been 4 hours stuck like this. I’m worrying Alya. I can’t think clearly. I am nearly insane.

“Just cut the rope now! I can carry her myself!”

“Easy, friend. We won’t hurt your girlfriend.”


Just after the rope has been cut, Alya’s browny eye turns into white and her body turns cold. I can’t feel her anymore. She has gone forever.

3 comments:

  1. uhm...actually you can explore the story more, Hana. The beginning and the ending is out of my expectation. Yet, thank you for this work.

    ReplyDelete
  2. thank you for your comment mam. i'm sorry, i did my best

    ReplyDelete
  3. thank you for your comment mam. i'm sorry, i did my best

    ReplyDelete